So the hot topic at work this evening was a question that I think goes right up there with "Does Beyonce poop?" I had the question "Do you think Michael Jackson is hung?" I mean he is technically black after all. Most everyone said no. Rachel and Han brought up the fact that his voice is incredibly high. I added that could mean there were part or all of the genitals removed at some time. Maybe he basically just has a beer bong attached where his junk should be. The answer came from the professional black man James himself. He said no emphatically without missing a beat. He thinks that he is a product of his endowment so to say and that contributes to him being totally crazy and messed up. After resident black man answered the question we were all able to have a sigh of relief since we had definitely found our answer.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
I Was Wrong!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Boyz Suck!
Boys suck and this is the song that is hitting my heart strings of late, Katy Perry's "Thinking of You":
The video got deleted because youtube is a crabby old lady.
Grandmas and Assholes
I'll Hire a Hit
So I really hate this person. Her name is Miley Cyrus. I offer $10.57 to anyone that wants to take her out for me. I would any day trade her to die on a plane rather than the subliminal Patsy Cline. I love Patsy...but let's not forgot about how horrible Miley fuckin' Cyrus is. I HATE her! I hope her phone snatch pics come out soon. What a redneck. What a talent-less whore. Ugh!
This one goes to that lady!
Beyonce's Shit Machine
No I'm not giving a review of the new Beyonce album (which I secretly or not so secretly love and piss myself about), but rather I have a question which I proposed to Rachel...Do you think Beyonce poops? Hmmmm...now this question could go right up there with the meaning of life and how the hell Bea Arthur is still alive. Rachel thinks Beyonce has a machine that poops for her. I'm not sure how this would happen, but I am sure that Beyonce thinks herself so amazing that she would have her next album just be the sounds of the colonic machine sucking the shit right outta her! And I will listen to it on repeat for a month. Oh BB!!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Airbrushed Aaliyah
Beyonce Caught Farting@!@!(*@(&$#!
Okay, this didn't actually happen (at least to my knowledge), but I would love if it did. The thing is, I really like Beyonce overall. I love her music, her performances, all of it! She is an amazingly talented performer. The thing is is that Beyonce knows she is. She takes herself so seriously!! I just wish once she would get recorded letting one rip and maybe fall again like she did that time. You know she was pissed when that falling concert footage made the rounds. If you haven't already, take a look at Beyonce's new video "Diva". This backs all this post up.
WTF fringe sun glasses?? Please! Looks like something Mama Tina made in her damn sewing room that Beyonce lets her have. Oh and btw, Rachel and I really want to make our own version of "Single Ladies". Lindsay thus far is refusing, but I think one or two buttery nipples later she will be shaking that Jewish ass around like she is getting dollars shoved down her undies.
Taylor Swift is Poopy
So I really dislike Taylor Swift. Not as much as I dislike Miley Cyrus, but dislike all the same. I'm not sure Rachel dislikes her quite as much as I do. I think she just pretends to hate her because Lindsay loves her. I think Lindsay wishes she was a lesbian just so she could make out with that horse face. My dislike of Taylor Swift brought me upon this great thread over at answers.yahoo.com (http://nz.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080413160041AAmtP98). I like that someone thought she was ugly like I do and felt the need to be vindicated. I don't need to be justified. She's ugly...I know ugly when I see it.
Michael in Dubai-land
So Rachel and I were talking today how we would really like it if our restaurant could open a location in Dubai. I mean Dubai is the place to be right? I mean Michael Jackson is there spending the last days of his life supposedly. That got us on a conversation about Mr. Jackson. I was saying that if he dies early than I feel like all the bad stuff (child molestation charges/craziness) will all be forgotten. Rachel disagreed. This conversation about MJ and Dubai also got us on a great idea to make our own line of bedazzled denim burkas. They would sell like hot cakes. Bitches would be lining up to pick that shit up. I also thought it would be cutting edge to make a slot in the burka to insert a phone. We would put bluetooth out of business.
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